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June 30, 2008
discipline
Ian's new skills have brought us into new realms of parenting. He can get into everything. Sometimes what he is trying to do is amazing, his combination of physical strength and problem-solving skills are mind-boggling at times. Sometimes, it's a day full of moving him across the living room away from the "no," and having to repeat that process ad nauseum. Elanor doesn't get as many no's because she's not nearly as mobile, and in general she can be redirected more quickly than he can.
So far, we've only set up a very limited number of no's, some of them of a more serious nature than others: don't touch the DVD player, don't turn over the living room table, don't pull your sister (or brother's--we've realized Elanor can be the silent but deadly instigator here) hair.
Jonathan's post really made me think through some thoughts that have been bubbling through my mind lately.
With pregnancy, there are variations, but most of the advice can apply to most pregnancies. Don't drink, smoke, etc., eat well, and so on.
When it comes to parenting advice, especially in regards to discipline, advice runs the gamut. From people we know in real life, to blogs I've visited, to parenting experts, there are so many conflicting voices. Plus some of the books by experts subtitle their works to indicate that this (and only this?) is parenting "God's way." Some say that you should "always" discipline this way. Others say you should "never" use this technique. And sometimes I feel like we're fumbling our way through the always and nevers trying to find what's best for our family.
The thing is, though, every parent is different, every child is different. Though there are principles that can be applied across the board, I don't think there will ever be one system that fits everyone into it. Already, we're seeing that Ian and Elanor have very different personalities, and that we'll have to handle them in different ways. It's hard, even when tone of voice and redirection are the main discipline tools we're using right now. It's trying to find the right tone of voice that shows I'm serious (no, this is not a game!) without breaking his heart. There are certain tones of voice I use that just crush his little spirit. I want an obedient child, not a squished one!
I really like this. About how it's too easy to idolize having the perfect family, and putting that in the place of Christ's work.
I also appreciate those who remind that the goal of discipline is part of discipleship. Not that punishment won't eventually be part of that, still thinking through all of that, but that discipling and training our kids is the focus, rather than punishing them.
And our old pastor's reminders that believing in the covenant, we have no place treating our kids as "vipers in diapers." He also said, right before our children were baptized, that apologizing to our kids when we make mistakes is one of the most powerful discipline tools we have, and that it's best to get a behavior to change using the gentlest means possible to accomplish that change--anything else is overkill.
And after a discouraging days of no's and redirecting, when I was greatly longing for immobile babies, I appreciated Tim's reminder that Ian's mad skillz aren't things to be discouraged about, they're things to rejoice in. He's growing up!
And, the other day, after telling him "no" as he crawled ever closer to the DVD player, he stopped, looked me in the eye, and turned around. I was astonished--he had a choice, and he used his will to make the right choice.
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June 27, 2008
Babies laugh
In case the sound of laughter might brighten up someone's day...
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The Pacifier Swap
Remember this?
The pacifier games get more elaborate as time goes on. Sometimes we can't even keep track of whose is whose.
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I'm Not There
Yeah, so after reading Funke's mention of the movie, I remembered how curious I was about I'm Not There. We had wanted to see it in our local warehouse turned indy movie with beer and coffee place, but it just never worked out.
Which was just as well in the long run. Tim hated it.
It was postmodern almost to the point of incoherency at points. Five actors and an actress portraying the different dimensions of Dylan's life and work. I was intrigued by the idea of it, but often it seemed to break down under the weight of its own polyphony. At some points, there was just too much going on.
The thing is, we both like movies that play with narrative. And we both adore Dylan. But...
In some ways the movie presumes too much knowledge, and then just repeats that which most Dylan fans would already know. It takes whole sections of footage used in earlier documentaries (Don't Look Back and Scorsese's No Direction Home), and then just recreates them using the different actors/actress. There didn't seem to be much new insight into the events.
What I liked? Cate Blanchett as Dylan. Actually, I thought it would be my least favorite aspect of the movie. I thought using a woman to portray Dylan was just a publicity stunt. But she was perfect. Vulnerable, opaque, defensive, complicated, yet with a child-like translucency. I think the reasons it didn't bother me to have her play him (I honestly thought it would be too distracting to have a woman play Dylan) is first of all her stunning acting job, and secondly, the familiarity I have of the use of trouser roles in operas (think Mary Martin as Peter Pan).
I also really like the sections with a young African-American boy portraying Dylan. It wove together really great bits: the influence of blues and spirituals on Dylan, his fascination with music of earlier times, his made-up biography, even the metaphor of trains and travel that permeate his music.
The soundtrack was fabulous. It pretty much stayed away from the top-ten sort of Dylan songs, and used many of his more obscure but fascinating songs.
What I hated? Richard Gere as Dylan as a cowboy in some kind of surreal universe. Very weird, and didn't seem to fit . Dylan as a pentecostal preacher spewing out some civil religion nonsense that didn't seem very Dylanesque, but perhaps they used his actual words. Not too much on his conversion experience, which I would have loved to hear more about.
I liked Scorsese's film much better. And as I thought about it, it has its own polyphony, the defensive voice of the young Dylan contrasting with the older, thoughtful Dylan peering back at his life and interpreting what he sees.
Posted by Tim and Jo at 1:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
June 22, 2008
Cousins!
Recently, our kids got to meet their cousin Andrew and their dear aunt.
Ian loved snuggles with his Aunty.
The kids had lots of play time with their cousin. They played together on the floor. In the pool. On grandpa's lap. And so on.
This one pacifier got passed around to all three kids.
Spit-cousins instead of blood-brothers?
Posted by Tim and Jo at 7:03 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Saturday in the park
Yesterday, we took the kids to a little local park.
Among our recent realizations as parents is that many of our activities are going to revolve around our kids' activities from now on. I know, pretty obvious. But going to the park and watching the geese hasn't been on our top to-do-list in the recent past. But now, it's one of the fun perks of parenting. Anyways.
While we were at the park, we took the inevitable two-in-one-swing pictures. A twin forum Joanna is on had a whole series of these pictures awhile ago, and we're just now catching up. Enjoy!
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7 months
The kiddos have made some huge developmental jumps lately.
Elanor loves sitting up. She can sit up for 15 minutes at a time at this point. If she falls backwards, she's fine. But if she topples forward, she gets stuck and cries for help. She's also started rolling all the way over, though she still does what we've named her "yo-yo-roll," in which she rolls three-quarters of the way over, grabs whatever toy she wanted, and unrolls herself back to the original position.
Not only does he still roll all over the place, Ian crawls. He crawls mostly with one hand, so he looks like a man dying of thirst in the desert inching his way towards the oasis.
Ian likes exploring the broad landscape of our living room. Elanor likes grabbing one toy and studying its minutest detail. Ian is never still. Elanor doesn't mind sitting and chatting, or playing quietly.
Ian got to sit in the big boy seat of the shopping cart for the first time this past week, grinning almost the whole time. He looked like a midshipman manning his mast, keeping a lookout for specials of the week as we cruised down the aisles.
They both talk up a storm. Once we figure out our new computer, we'll post a video of their favorite oral past-time: humming while we strum their mouths. Elanor will even strum her own mouth, using her entire arm to do it. Their other favorite thing to say is "dadadadadadada...," which causes Tim no small amount of satisfaction. Joanna, on the other hand, secretly squishes together their lips to teach them how to say "mamamamamama..."
We've also realized that we've stepped into a whole new world of parenting with two fully mobile babies, but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.
Posted by Tim and Jo at 6:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
We love Aunt-stina (& her mum's dog!)
(& her mum, too, we just didn't get a picture!)
Posted by Tim and Jo at 6:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 18, 2008
Reluctantly stimulating the economy
Our computer has been slowly going the way of all things. We helped it limp along thanks to some clean-up advice and freeware programs from the computer guys at Tim's job. But it's demise is near. It was really frustrating because it was taking all of the bits and pieces of time I have to work on dissertation stuff even to open the notation program I use, much less to make musical examples with it.
It's actually lasted longer than our marriage to this point, which is quickly coming upon the four year mark.
When Acme sledgehammers seem like an appealing option for fixing the computer, the time has come to bite the bullet and find a new one.
Someone suggested the Dell Outlet store. We found a laptop that had many times the memory and speed that our old one did, and for much cheaper than we would have gotten it otherwise. We didn't know the color, it was ambiguously called "Chill Pattern." But we're not really the kind that has color-coordination as a priority (though Tim was relieved that we didn't end up with Flamingo Pink). But when we looked it up online, it looked rather Art Nouveauish. Nouveau Art Nouveau? If any of y'all knew how many pictures Tim took of the Metro stations in Paris, you would know his obsession with the Art Nouveau style.
We're just getting the computer set up at this point, but we're uber-happy with it. More on our discoveries of what we can do with a fast computer later!
Posted by Tim and Jo at 9:37 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Ian's Father's Day present
He started crawling on Sunday evening. With a lot of belly dragging, but still crawling all over the place.
He's unstoppable now!
Posted by Tim and Jo at 8:54 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 15, 2008
Happy First Father's Day!
The kids are blessed to have two fun grandfathers,
One great-grandfather,
And a daddy who adores them!
A daddy...
-who wouldn't ever miss a play time with them
-who can't keep his hands off of them in the morning before he leaves for work (because he's missed them so much overnight), even if they're still sleeping
-who has changed at least as many dirty diapers as mommy
-who got up with them almost every night until they started sleeping through the night
-who makes them smile and laugh just by walking into the room or saying hi
-who prays for them each day
Happy First Father's Day, Tim!!!
Posted by Tim and Jo at 6:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 13, 2008
internet, research and the mind
Tim told me about this incredible article someone brought up at a discussion at his work.
I have a lot of thoughts about it, but they aren't quite coherent yet (is that because of google? haha). I blogged very briefly about book vs. computer literacy awhile ago, and I've thought about this off and on for awhile.
The article challenged me to think about how much my dissertation research presupposes the internet. Not just directly, but indirectly as well. I've used it to interview composers. My research presumes that libraries have online catalogs of their works, and that I can e-mail librarians to ask them about the works. I use the internet constantly to skim (as the article points out) articles. In a later section of the dissertation, I'll google blog posts and the like to research and create a kind of reception history of a particular genre of music. And so forth.
The dissertation I'm writing couldn't have the scope that it does without the internet. It seems like in older generations of dissertations, so much time would have had to be spent on gathering each tiny bit of information, that there wouldn't be as much freedom for scope, or critically contextualizing across a broad field of knowledge. Not that those things didn't happen earlier, it just seems like things are much easier (on many levels) with the use of the internet.
But I think he's right that the internet is a radical change in the way that we receive knowledge comparable to the printing press in its time (as powerful? I don't know).
BTW, if anyone's attention hasn't shifted already, I just turned in a 25 page chunk of the dissertation to my advisor. Virtual pats on the back would be much appreciated!
Posted by Tim and Jo at 1:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 9, 2008
Fresh herb tabbouleh salad
It's been so blasted hot down here that I've been trying to find some no-cook/little cooking meals.
We finally made it to the Athens's Farmer's Market. It was nice. A little busy. A little yuppie-hippie-ish And nothing like the selection of our PA farmer's markets.
But we found some fun stuff there, leeks and fresh herbs. I haven't used the leeks yet, but I'm going to try to plan some of our meals this week around those herbs (I'd love ideas, folks!). Here's what I made over the weekend. We have tons of leftovers, and just scoop out what we want for snacks and lunches. It's really refreshing, and every bite tastes a little different because of the herbs. It's not overpoweringly parsleyish, either, which is what I don't like about some tabbouleh salads.
Tabbouleh salad
(1) Pour 3 1/2 to 4 cups of hot water over 1 box tabbouleh flavored couscous mix + 1 cup couscous* Refrigerate while you get other ingredients ready. Fluff a little before mixing in the other stuff.
(2) Mix in:
- 3-4 tablespoons chopped fresh basil (ours was lemon basil, yum!)
- 3-4 tablespoons chopped fresh mint
- 3-4 tablespoons chopped parsley
- 1-2 tsp. garlic powder (or about the same fresh)
- 1 pint grape tomatoes quartered or eighthed
- 1 cup chopped cooked chicken (optional, I just wanted to up the protein)
- 1 medium onion diced
- 2-3 ozs. crumbled feta cheese
- Olive oil, salt, lemon juice and/or balsamic vinegar to taste
*Or 3 cups couscous, 1/4 cup lemon juice, 1/4 cup olive oil, and up the herbs, especially the parsley
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Turning the table
Should I be a little nervous that my six month old can flip over a table?
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Sunday best
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Rocky Road to Dublin: Reading Joyce's Ulysses
Tim: I've started reading James Joyce's Ulysses, that novel of twists and turns that has sucked many hapless readers into its confounding Charybdis-like whirlpool of intertextuality or driven them to remote islands to spend the rest of their lives munching on lotus leaves and wondering why they ever wanted to read such a long, dense novel. To prevent this, I've armed myself well. I read Homer's Odyssey two years ago, I have the Teaching Company 24 part lecture series on the novel by Dartmouth professor James Heffernan and the book Ulysses Annotated by Don Gifford plus I've found some websites that guide the wayfaring reader through the maze of Dublin place name references. I also found a great article that analyzes the snippets and references to Irish folks songs in the novel. (Even now I can hear my wife sniggering at my geekiness and my pretentiousness).
So off I go to the Martello Tower on Dublin Bay.
In other news, Elanor started doing this really funny thing. When we tap our finger repeatedly on her mouth, she sings and it makes the "wa-wa-wa-wa-wa" sound. She even does it herself except that she uses her entire arm instead of just her finger. It's hilarious to watch her! It looks she's having some sort of strange arm spasm, with sound effects.
Posted by Tim and Jo at 9:06 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
June 5, 2008
Crockpot ratatouille
This is the second time I made this, and I thought I had blogged the recipe before. But I couldn't find it! So, I went through my little research tour of slow cooker ratatouille recipes, and made it up again. I'm writing it down this time so that I don't have to recreate the process a third time.
Anyways, we both became fascinated with the idea of ratatouille after watching the movie. Last time, we had a little ratatouille party for three, dinner and a movie--a fun little multisensory experience. Last night it was an ideal dish because we had some vegetarian friends over. And it feels like a summery sort of dish anyways.
Ideally, I'd love to make it with vegetables from the new Athens farmer's market. But since I haven't been here for a Saturday since it started, that'll have to wait.
So, here is what I did this time. I cut the vegetables into different shapes for fun. It seems like it could be infinitely variable...
Crockpot Ratatouille
Layer:
1 large eggplant (quarted and thinly sliced)
2 small zucchini (thinly slices)
2 yellow squash (cubed)
3 celery stalks (diced thickly)
1 green bell pepper (diced thickly) [you could definitely use more of these. I would have if they weren't $3.00 a lb., urgh!]
[last time I used mushrooms, too]
2-3 teaspoons herbs de provence
2-3 teaspoons capers
Pour over:
2 14-oz. can diced fire roasted tomatoes [or just normal diced tomatoes]
1 28-oz can crushed tomatoes or sauce (I used a olive-mushroom tomato sauce because I had it on hand, and thought it would go well with the flavors).
After our favorite Sicilian told me one of the secrets to making his mom's tomato sauce was to fry the onions and garlic separately and add them later, I decided to add those at the end. So...
Cook vegetables for 4-6 hours on low. In last hour of cooking time,
Fry 1-2 diced onions and 4-6 cloves of garlic in 1/4 cup of olive oil until tender. Add to pot with 1/2 cup or so fresh parsley [I used fresh basil last time].
Serve with rice, noodles, or couscous.
Posted by Tim and Jo at 12:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Feeding two
I imagine that spoon-feeding two is quite different than feeding one. Except--and I hope that this doesn't gross anyone out (they share everything anyways)--at this point it's still one spoon and one bowl. And a sore arm from feeding double the bites!
I hope that they're already learning patience. They're pretty cool about waiting for their turn most of the time. Whoever is waiting for their bite waves all of their limbs and coos in anticipation. The coos become exponentially more intense if you give the other one two or more bites. Somewhat like a turtledove morphing into a raven.
Dinner is frequently interrupted by conversations. These kinds of interactions more than make up for any extra work that we have with two babies instead of one.
Posted by Tim and Jo at 12:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack