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July 15, 2008

Tim's Behemoth Bachelor Burritos

Tim: So all of you In Search of Lost Time readers out there know by now that Joanna is an excellent cook. One needs only to go to the "Categories" list on our blog and to click on "cooking stuff" to view a veritable smorgasbord of virtual vittles. Well the time has now come to reveal my own cooking skills. Joanna suggested that I share one of my "recipes" from my bachelor days. I thank her for using the word "recipe" so loosely and for allowing the high standards we have for our blog to sink so low.

Nevertheless, I give you Tim's Behemoth Bachelor Burritos.


  • Two flat round tortillas

  • Refried black beans (homemade is terrific)

  • Onions and bell peppers

  • Olives (sure, you can use the ubiquitous green olives, but a nice mix of gourmet olives or kalamata olives really raises the bar here)

  • Corn (preferably: canned mexicorn with jalapenos and stuff)

  • Salsa (again, the kind of salsa you use really makes or breaks these tortillas. Experiment! Green, red, smoky, fruity, whatever floats your boat)

  • Cheese

Spread the black beans even on the tortilla. Chop up onions, peppers and olives and pile them on with copious amounts of corn. Spread on lots of salsa and cheese. Place another tortilla on top and microwave for 2 1/2 minutes. (Okay, so it's not really a burrito. But it's yummy!) The top tortilla gets kind of crispy. Joanna has tried doing this on a griddle, but the microwave is better (the tortilla burns by the time all the ingredients are warm, unless you want to do some kind of combo cooking method, but that takes away from the bachelor simplicity of the whole thing).

Now...to get the complete bachelor experience while eating the behemoth bachelor burrito, it is helpful to simultaneously be engaged in one or more of these activities:

1) Watch a WWII movie, or perhaps a football game (preferably the Steelers)
2) Drink a beer (a "proper" beer of course, not Budweiser)
3) Wear no more apparel than shorts, possibly socks also.
4) Listen to loud music (Wagner or progressive rock). Did I mention the music was supposed to be loud?
5) Argue theology vehemently with your favorite Sicilian (but more than likely, you'll be eating his bachelor spaghetti sauce during this activity)

Tim , cooking stuff , funny | By Tim and Jo | 10:40 PM


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