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June 29, 2010
Ministry of Reality Mondays
So, I already mentioned this concept in an earlier post--you know, the one where our kids color all over our walls with permanent markers?
*Ahem*
After chatting with a few dear friends, we're going to try to make this a regular series on our various blogs. Yes, I realize it's Tuesday! Go read Dogwoodmama's post for an introduction. Her quote from another friend sums up the concept beautifully,
"The basic idea of 'my' Ministry of Reality Ministry...is being able to be REAL about life. Homes are not always (not *usually* even!) spotless, children are not always dressed adorably, children do not always "behave," marriage is hard, and there aren't simple answers to hard questions. Being honest about all of this makes it easier (in my opinion) to live life... because we can ASK for help about problems we aren't covering up. We can be encouraged by others' stories of surviving similar seasons and trials."
It's really easy in the blogosphere to present a gussied-up version of reality. Okay, that has it's place--in their essence, blogs are stories, right? And sometimes on a blog, we just want to tell a lovely story, and that's fine. Tim puts it this way, speaking more of our biannual chronicles (the real-life story and picture books that he started when we were first dating, and has continued throughout our relationship--we're on volume 14 now), "You wouldn't take pictures of an argument and put it in your family picture album, would you?"
But where it gets dangerous, I believe, is when this prettified version of reality is seen as THE reality, and even further, where an idyllic fiction is used to sell--figuratively and often literally--an ideology. Uhhhh, seen much idealization of Victoriana and the Antebellum South lately?!?!? (good antidotes: Charles Dickens and Elizabeth Gaskell for overidealizationofthevictorianperiod syndrome, and some primary documents for the oldsouthwasexactlylikegonewiththewindbeforethewarandslaverywasn'tallthatbad syndrome)
There's a fine line to walk in this series. No, I'm not going to be airing our family's dirty laundry. But I think that a good dose of reality can be a genuine encouragement even through the medium of a blog.
So, no laundry. But with two 2.5 year olds, there's plenty enough reality to go around. Like the time Elanor used cocoa powder as a sandbox substitute. Or finding matchbox cars inside our VCR. Or one bite each taken out of seven tomatoes.
ETA: Here's an expansion on the idea of the ministry of reality from the blogger who helped coin the term.
Ministry of Reality , Thinking , parenting | By Tim and Jo | 10:47 AM
Comments
Oh, I go through this all the time with the newsletter! Every time I go to write an article about the girls, I don't want them to be made out to be perfect children, but I also don't want myself to come off as horrible mother! I try to write what happened- the good and the bad- so that we both can have a documentation of it. I save every issue for the girls and they love hearing "what did I do when *I* was THAT age" stories.
What I find helps is that by the time I go to sit down to write the article, whatever buttons were being pushed have reset. :) Thus, event he bad stories don't sound so horrible.
I think it will help the girls to reread these issues when (if) they become wives and moms. It helps to find out these problems aren't new and other people have survived them!
As my neighbor (of 3 now teenagers) always told me when her kids were toddler through pre teen, "You *will* get your life back!"
:)
Posted by: karen at June 29, 2010 2:47 PM
oh, and btw, it *was* your fault- the whole marker incident on the walls.... I don't know how they resisted such a blank canvas for so long as it was!!!
;)
Posted by: karen at June 29, 2010 2:49 PM
